Wednesday, 29 May 2013

Stag Party Groom Pranks - The Rules!

The stag party (bachelor party for those in North America) is a great tradition where you get together with a few good friends and do something amazingly fun. Mostly it will involve copious amounts of alchohol, of which the groom will be the main consumer. The end result of such a beer filled session is the traditional stag party prank. Playing a prank on the groom can be fun, but it also can be dangerous. There are a catalogue of horror stories about missed weddings, facial injuries, hospital visits and even incarsaration which have ruined the big day.

In generations gone by the common practice was having your party the night before the wedding, this changed for two main reasons, firstly the likelihood of surviving a wedding with a  stinking hangover started your new union on bad terms. Secondly the stag night became a weekend, week or even ten day trip to some glorious place way out of town, a mini-holiday if you like.

So here before you are the rules you should navigate to ensure that your prank doesn't end you up being responsible for the cancelling of the biggest day in the grooms life.

1. Do Not touch the hair!

Not only will it ruin the wedding day pics, it will also likely get you a serious stressed out bride on your case, meaning those BBQ you used to enjoy round your mates house won't be happening for a long time.

2. Do Not do anything illegal

Being in prison sucks, being in prison on your wedding night and consummating the big day with a scary cellmate is not something you will quickly forget, if they are arrested don't expect to remain friends.

3. Do Not encourage adultery

Strippers may be in your plan, and depending on what country you visit you may also think an extras package would be good. It wouldn't and you shouldn't encourage it, the poor bride has spent everyday since her fourth birthday dreaming of her wedding, ruining it in aid of a cheap thrill is not a good idea.

4. Do Not put the Groom in physical danger

Here is a cool idea, let's get him really drunk and then tie him to a lamppost. When you drink you feel invincible but when tied naked to a lamppost you are prone to attacks. The same goes for, putting his bed on a cliff, getting him to climb into the bear enclosure at the zoo or wiring his hand up to a taser gun then tickling his nose.

5. Do Not ever, under any circumstances, repeat a word of it until well after the wedding.

Don't breath a word of it to anyone for a couple of years. It is not a good idea to start your wedding speech with a tale of debauchery from the night, it will only annoy the father of the bride and increase the brides paranoia ten fold. Some memories are best kept between friends.

If you follow the simple rules then your bound to have a great time and create some memories. If you don't follow the rules then be prepared for the resultant fallout, I know Hollywood would have you believe everything works out in the end, unfortunately that's just not true.

Don't forget to pick up your Stag Do T-Shirts before the big event!

Friday, 24 May 2013

Cool Themes for your Stag party

The Stag party (Batchelor Party for you Yanks) is a time of partying hard, get drunk and be noticed. You don't go on a stag do for a quiet drink down the local. Make yourself a theme, plan the activities and watch the mayhem ensue. To kick the party off and get everyone in the mood a theme is a great way to do it, whether it be your favourite TV show, Film or band there are loads of ideas for great ways to get everyone playing the fool from the get go. Here are the four best Ideas.


1 - Morphs - Morph suits are cool, because they are bold and they also look weird. A team of morphs walking down the street will not only turn heads it will likely get you a shed load of free beer and multitude of strangers asking to take pictures with you. The biggest drawback of the Morph suit is the toilet moment, given the amount of beer you will be drinking it isn't the easiest outfit to go for a pee in.


2 - Bikers - Getting a few Harleys and some leather jackets for the weekend can be a cool idea, the open road and just going were the sunshine takes you. If you do happen across any biker bars, just be careful you don't offend them, oh yea and it's illegal to drink drive so drivers will be tea total!


3 - Superheroes - All boys dress up as superheroes when they are young, why not hark back to the good old days and all dress as your favourite characters. Just make sure you co-ordinate you don't want to end up with 9 Batman's and 1 Superman on your trip...........or do you?


4 - Scrabble - Get everyone a T-Shirt printed with one letter on it, throughout the night as people mingle you will notice hilarious words spelt out, you will also be able to arrange yourself to make words for effect, this is a brilliant idea to get yourselves noticed. You will need at least ten people to make this work properly but it will give you laughs all night long, and the pictures will be awesome. Stag Party T-Shirts are common now for a great way to showcase your group, this is called going the extra mile!



Tuesday, 21 May 2013

7 Worst Bites of All Time



Biting can be pleasurable; of course love bites are a matter of taste, but very often bites can lead to infamy. Rather than be resigned to the kindergarten playground, biting takes place across a wide spectrum of adults.  So whether it’s a full on Hannibal Lector style chomp, a night of passions style nibble of Rihanna or a tooth-frenzy gnaw of a piranha fish you will be intrigued by these stories of a dental nature.
1.       Mike Tyson - When someone has literally been punching you full on in the face you could be forgiven for losing your temper, but when you are a trained athlete, it is perhaps a little less defensible. During a 1997 encounter between the two best of the division, Tyson was a shadow of his meanest self.

Time heals all wounds….apart from ear flap tissue

Fighting like a man beaten from the first bell, which was until Tyson decided to bring out the enamel attack, biting so hard to tear his opponents ear flap. The tasty chunk of Holyfield ear tarred Tyson, the convicted rapist, as a thug, destroyed his legacy as a fantastic boxer and gave us an unsavoury glimpse into the insight of a madman. The bite is a banned move in the sport of Boxing, a sport so brutal it leads to death, which was rocked by the George A. Romero inspired scene of flesh eating, not technically eating, granted, because he didn’t swallow.
Since this incident, we are now subjected to cameo, self-mocking appearances in Hollywood movies. Perhaps the new Evil Dead missed a trick, of course with zombies so popular we may see a Scary Movie film with him appearing….oh wait a minute we already have, pictured at the premier of Scary Movie 5 pretending to bite Charlie Sheens ear. Nice to know we can laugh about it all now.


2.       Lagos Politician – Coming home to find a burglar in your home is your best chance to kill someone without conviction. An intruder in the process of stealing your stuff is fair game, for at least a swift swing of a nearby baseball bat.
In Nigeria they enjoy gun ownership, which given the enormous crime rates seems like a good idea. On encountering an intruder in his home, the politician began to beat one of the assailants, with no firearm to hand he resorted to biting him into submission. Sounds like a straight forward ordeal right? Wrong, the would-be burglar claims “look at my body, all the injuries were from the man. He even injured me on my penis. He beat me black and blue.” Nigeria is a notoriously rough place, crime is out of control due to the large amounts of poverty, but if even the ruling classes are legitimate targets it shows just the extent of the problem.

Lagos Prison busier than a McDonalds in Detroit

Imagine trying to break into the Bush residence, not only would you probably end up dead, your records would be wiped and you probably would have never existed, at least according to all official records. The only shame about this Nigerian tale is that you cannot bite the bastards that keep sending you those scam emails, you know the ones, about their dear dead granddad who left them $8million.

3.       Luis Saurez - Once bitten twice shy, so the saying goes. But not for this diminutive little rascal, the Uruguayan having been twice punished for biting opponents. Now plying his trade in England, for one of the most successful sporting clubs in the world, Liverpool FC, the spotlight literally shone on his bizarre bite of Chelsea defender Ivanovic. Serving a ten game ban, three games more than his previous ban for the same offence, will mean Saurez chances of winning player of the year have taken a bigger dive than his usual penalty box acrobatics.

Saurez in his natural habitat

If you have never seen Saurez, imagine a beaver with really dark hair walking on two legs, you could be forgiven for mistaking his giant teeth for those of a wild Mr Ed. Having large gnashers does not excuse the use of them for violent means, it’s not like you see Minnie Driver go about biting Matt Damon, however it does mean he is simply using his natural assets.
Let us not judge too harshly Saurez, after all he ply’s his trade in a league that has seen Cantona’s flying kick into the face of an opposing fan, and earlier this season Hazard kick a ball boy who was time wasting, yes an actual 17 year old kid.

4.       Marv Albert – If you don’t know his name you clearly haven’t been to the Basketball hall of fame. Working for NBC on not only basketball but also Super Bowls, he is seen as one of the greatest sports caster of all time.

Arrested for Crimes against Wigs

Being a renowned sports-caster now affords celebrity status and with so many sports fans listening to your every word it is often hard to escape the limelight. But when the cameras were turned on Marv in 1997 it proved to be his bite that got him caught. Charged with sexual assault (forced sodomy) he pleaded guilty following the positive id from his bite marks on the victim. Like some kind of CSI Vegas episode, this piecing together of evidence just shows that modern technology is ahead of the game; good news should Vampires ever start to roam the earth (I’d like to see Robert Pattison escape the FBI).
The sodomy charge was dropped and the final verdict was a Guilty plea to misdemeanour assault and battery, to which the 12 month suspended sentence was deemed fair, and Marv was sacked, rightly so, from NBC due to the scandal. Strangely however in 2 years he was reappointed and to this day continues to commentate on American sport, we can presume he doesn’t get many locker room interviews.


5.       Oliver Cromwell  (Malaria Bite) - Perhaps one of the most influential protagonists of sectarianism in the UK, still felt to this day, the hatred between Protestant and Catholic Christians rose dramatically during his campaign. Killing many soldiers and inhabitants, he sought to distinguish the Catholic influence on Ireland and Scotland.

Rocking the Collar over Armour look!
Meeting his end thanks to malaria, an all too common disease brought about mainly from the bites of mosquitos. Cromwell’s religious hatred knew no bounds, with many of his general’s responsible for thousands of slaves being sent from Ireland to the Caribbean. Although well celebrated in English history, he died not in battle or by the sword of his foe, but by the simple blood sucking parasite that plagues many of us during warm weather. This ironically natural end to a man, to this day divisive in UK opinions, is somewhat fitting. Had he been killed by a warfare defeat perhaps his legacy would not be so strong?  59 years old was a decent length of life for his day given the amount of disease and pestilence in England during 16th century.
His body was posthumously executed (yes they actually dug up his corpse and carried out an execution), a good way to ensure he will never return as a walker. The ritual was performed for his participation in the overthrowing of the monarchy and resultant execution of Charles the I. What a lovely period in history this was; disease, religious war, Ruling powers overthrown like a pillow being turned on a hot night, it does sound slightly familiar though. Perhaps we should reinvent posthumous execution for the likes of Bin Laden, HBO would get the pay per view rights of course.


6.       Precious Reynolds (Rabies Bite) - Rabies kills once symptoms begin to manifest, hence why so many people get vaccinated as soon as they are bitten by potential carrier. This can be pretty much any animal that isn’t domestic, the main culprit being Bats, which explains the crazy behaviour of Bruce Wayne. This little 8 year old girl is the third person to ever survive Rabies in US history. It is unknown why people have survived, and also very difficult to tell if an animal is a carrier, the offending animal in this nasty tale was in fact a cat, as claimed by Precious herself “it looked like an ordinary cat”.

Sticking to the stuffed Animals from now on
Interestingly all three survivors have been children with the treatment response used dubbed the Milwaukee protocol, involving induced coma followed by intensive antibiotic treatment. But the debate opens up further questions, firstly perhaps the survival stats are all bullshit? There have been cases of survival from Rabies with no medical intervention, presumably there have been others that just never made it to the record books. So how would you know it was rabies and not just a terrible flu?
The Milwaukee protocol type of treatment seeks to avoid any brain injury, although extensive rehabilitation and physiotherapy is required, the best advice if bitten by any animal is to get the vaccine, that’s if you know you have been bitten at all. Don’t consider trying to get a bat to bite you whilst holding a stick of uranium, it won’t turn you into Batman, it will simply kill you.


7.       Priscilla Vaughn – Ever tried to meet a girl from the internet for some NSA (No Strings attached) sex? The notoriety of craigslist hook ups is now world renowned, documented on porn sites across the globe. You can assume at the worst it will turn out to be a bloke right? What about if it turned into NBA(No Balls Attached) sex, in this zombie style attack, Priscilla, who was outed as an escort showing there is no such thing as a free meal (or shag), decided to repeatedly bite her internet lover. And I don’t mean small hickies.

Not a Good Craiglist Date!

When help arrived the man was covered in blood, presumably the assailant felt guilty and decided to call the police. But most disturbingly at the crime scene police found his testicles in a trash can. Having seen enough episodes of teen mom I take all the necessary precautions to prevent disease and pregnancy, but putting my testicles in another room seems like the ultimate safe sex.
This nightmarish tale of sex gone wrong should serve as a warning to never trust an online conversation. At least in this story the potential lover was a woman, but unfortunately, she also turned out to be a biter, who easily went too far in her bedroom nibbles.  

Monday, 20 May 2013

5 Stag party Drinking Games

The Stag party, or batchelor party as it is known across the pond, is the night that all men love to plan. With all the wedding decisions, from seating plans to menu decisions the wedding can seem like some formal business project that holds little excitment for the men. 

The stag do gives the chance for the guys to really get their imagination in gear, planning every last detail. To ensure a great stag do you must have some games up your sleeve, to get people in the mood and drinking you need to ease the way with some ice breaking games, once you have played some of these your stag do won't need lubrication to get the night flowing.

1. Drinking Frisbee

Arrange yourself spread out, each player calls out another players name and throws the frisbee if they fail to catch it then they drink, but to ensure the thrower doesn't intentionally mess up they drink if it fails too! This game gets exponentially more difficult as you drink more.
 
2. Beer pong

Arrange your drinks on a table, take an empty jug topping it up with the last drops of everyone's drinks as the night goes on. Get a ping pong ball and bounce once before landing in a drink on the table (ensure some non alcoholic drinks are there), the drink it lands in you have to consume. If they fail to hit a target then they must drink the jug!

3. Flip, Sip or Strip

 Simple game, toss a coin and call it before it lands, if your right pass it on, if your wrong decide to sip or strip!

4. Buzz

Stand in a circle, start counting first person says 1, next says 2 and so on. The rules are that if you get to number 7, any multiple of 7(14,21,28) or any double number (11,22,33,44) you must say buzz, do this quick and the person who fails or makes mistake drinks. E.g. 1,2,3,4,5,6,buzz,8,9,10,buzz

5. I have Never

Start by stating something you have never done, each person in the group who has done it must take a swig of their drink, keep it fast and watch not only the drinks flow but the secrets be revealed.

Remember to always drink responsibly, this is easier said than done, make sure if you are playing there is always a sober member of the group to watch over the groom, being late for a wedding is never a good idea. 

For all your customised Stag do T-Shirts visit 

Thursday, 16 May 2013

6 of the Most Unlikely Heroes

A hero is a term often used to describe a Footballer, you know the guy who does the job he is paid ridiculous sums of money to do. In today's world the term is used too often, in the wrong context and rewarded to the wrong people. The following 6 people are all true heroes, often in the most unlikely scenarios they are thrust into action, this type of hero is working from base instincts, reactions of good within them.




1.      Charles Ramsay - In the process of eating a McDonald’s he was thrust into the limelight. He helped to rescue the kidnap victims of Clevland, trapped in a nightmarish tale that lasted a decade. This Man is both humble, entertaining and very witty, no doubt we will be seeing plenty of more interviews given his witty references like "Bro, I knew something was wrong when a little pretty white girl ran into a black man's arms," he said. "Something is wrong here. Dead giveaway. Dead giveaway. Deeeeeeeeeeaaaaaad giveaway. Either she's homeless, or she's got problems. That's the only reason she'd run to a black man."



2.       John Smeaton – Being a baggage handler on a cigarette break is pretty unlikely to be able to foil a multi national terrorist organisation attack right? Well this man did just that, the bungled terrorist attack on Glasgow airport, when two terrorists decided to ram the terminal with a car full of explosives, was a shock to everyone from Scotland an unlikely destination for the wrath of Bin laden. On failing to ignite the explosives the terrorist, on fire, tried to open the boot and manually light them, but baggage handler John stopped him in true Glasgow fasion, he kicked the crap out of him. Glasgow is a rough place, some say it’s the only place in the world where a man literally burning alive is likely to still get a beating.



3.       Patrick Dempsey- Celebrities are often accused of self-interest, but on witnessing a crash outside his home the medical drama star jumped out and used a crowbar to help release the young driver. The nickname of his Grey’s Anatomy character is McDreamy, fittingly he turned this nightmare into a story with a Hollywood happy ending.



4.       Rowan O’Neill – Doing the grocery shop for a man can be a tough challenge, not being distracted by those fatty delights while remembering everything you need. This Australian man had a distinctly more serious experience while buying his shopping, saving a girls life using CPR, in front of the anxious on-looking parents.



5.       Prisoners rescue drowning boys – A prison work gang jumped into action to rescue three boys, who’s boat had capsized while canoeing. No doubt a worthwhile way to put our inmates to work, had it not been for this gang of criminals the boys may not have survived.



6.       Rocky the dog – Mans best friend has proven it’s worth in war zones, crime fighting and now even rescues little girls from rivers. In this real life, lassie like tale, the dog rescued the drowning girl. The frozen river ice had given way, leaving the girls in the cold water, meaning time was precious. The dog and owner managed to rescue the girls and both returned safely to their parents.


Friday, 10 May 2013

Top 9 Sci Fi T-Shirts - Assimilate your Wardrobe

T-Shirts and fanboys go hand in hand like, R2D2 and C3PO. Getting the best t-shirt often depend on the subject of choice, anyone can ebay a nice 'official' merchandise tee but, what really stands out are ones with a twist, a colourful nod in the direction of the chosen subject can be much better than the traditional, look at my storm trooper on my chest.

So in honour of the t-shirt, the main staple of everybodies wardrobe, I have compled a list of the best 9 I have seen, 4 of which I own!

If your wondering where to get such cool attire, try a local T-Shirt Printing shop, or just try amazon! The beauty of a Custom T-Shirt printers is you can slightly adapt them to include your own reference, you may strike gold and have people asking you for it in the street.

1.Star Wars May the 4th 



 A T-Shirt to be worn on one day of the year, like a golden fleece this sacred item could last you a lifetime, that is of course if you maintain your body size. This T-Shirt shows your dedication to the Star Wars brand, and brings many others to celebrate Star Wars day, dusting down the old VHS of the originals and desperately searching for a scart lead. This T-Shirt is just too cool, if you wear it on other days it can also confuse the hell out of people, just try it, watch the confused looks of strangers, but be careful that might lead to the dark side!

2. HitchHikers Guide to the Galaxy T-Shirt



Having a big thumb on the front, the universal sign for hitch hiking is cool. On the back having the answer, to life, the universe and everything (which is 42 you frelling idiot!) makes it double cool. Douglas Adams was an astoundingly talented writer, there is a huge movement of silent HHGTTG fans, if you don't believe me Google Towel day, then keep your eyes peeled for the number of people you see walking around with a towel. The only way to make this t-shirt cooler would be to make it out of towel fabric!




You may be confused by the last word, Numpty is a Scottish word meaning: Someone who (sometimes unwittingly) by speech or action demonstrates a lack of knowledge, or less politely an Idiot. The Planet of the Apes font is bold and striking, can anyone really forget the epic Ape movies, even the cleverly done remakes. A much loved franchise, which spans generations make this T-Shirt good because it has a wide array of people that will 'get' it. Not to mention the fact that the world is indeed full of idiots, if you find yourself surrounded by such a mob of imbeciles then you should perhaps invest in this!

4. Obama Skywalker T-Shirt



I like Barack Obama, being Scottish means I get to sit on my high horse from across the pond thinking, Obama the left leaning Pres is clearly good for a Gun owning population of sub prime lenders. Of course the Hope slogan is also applicable to Star Wars. Luke Skywalker (Mark Hammil's, only role of note) was not perhaps the best sci fi hero of all time, he was moaning for a lot of the movie and he also cried like a baby. Hope is a good slogan for a Hero that ended up snogging his sister, perhaps I underestimate the son of Vader but hell this Tee is cool.

5.Banksy Star Wars Tee



If you don't know who Banksy is then you are in good company, a UK graffiti artist has not revealed his identity, mainly because in spite of his fame he would be liable for thousands of counts of vandalism. Weirdly his work is amazingly popular, perhaps it's his take on modern life using pop culture pictures or perhaps it's because he gives his art away free to local communities. What it does mean is he is perhaps the most copied artist of all time, not likely to get a cease and desist letter from him. This Tee is a great example of his work.

6.Brand blend T-Shirt



Being a clever sci fi geek, you can trick peoples eyes into thinking you are referencing something, when in fact you are referencing something else. Either that or this t-shirt was made in the Philippines and the mistake was an honest one. Either way I like the brand confusion, I can imagine it would receive plenty of comments and given the resurrection of both franchises in 2013 and beyond it is both relevant and modern.

7.Caprica



I often wish I was in a place mentioned in a sci fi film or book, the Restaurant at the end of the Universe would be fun. This t-shirt gives the impression of just that, a cheap tourist type t-shirt on closer inspection is in fact a Battlestar reference.Clever and fun.

8.Frack Me T-Shirt


 Swearing is frowned upon, the way both Battlestar and Farscape got around this is by replacing the F word with another similarly used F word. Clever right, well this T-Shirt is either an advert for a NSA encounter or it is a reference to astonishment. I like the bold clear message, many people just wouldn't get it so you can easily wittle down the potential conversation partners at a party.

9.Spock T-Shirt


 Do you want to play a game? have trouble following the rules, why not print them on a T-Shirt? The game adaptation of Rock Paper Scissors to include lizard and Spock is clever, however I don't get how Spock get's beat by paper, come on someone it explain it to me now!

Tuesday, 7 May 2013

12 Most powerful Species

It is a difficult thing to imagine, humans may not be the most powerful species in the universe, in fact it's highly likely we won't be. Our one skill, technology is only comparatively strong due to lack of any notable competition. Of course the fact no other species has found us yet, gives us some hope we may be intelligent, however it may mean we have been discovered and they just don't think we are ready for first contact, or worthy of conquering. Sci fi has presented us with many great new species, and here are 12 of the best.

Wraith

The fact these creatures farm Humans is perhaps and indication of their superiority. The only way we manage to survive encounters is by using stolen and gifted alien technology, diplomacy is one strength we possess, although until the world can live without war then we may not be ready to stand united to show this.
 
Vulcan

The Vulcan species are very intelligent, they are methodical and have become enlightened due to their astute intelligence. The lack of emotions, is often their downfall but being peaceful we don't have to fear an encounter with this style of race. What we may find, is that brute force is not the only way to conquer a species, if they were to integrate it can be assumed they would assume powerful positions, due to their superior intellect.

Klingon

This species has moved from sworn enemy to ally, showing that diplomacy can work over time. One of the key aspects of diplomacy is to ensure both sides are strong in their own ways, if present day humans met the Klingons we could not expect such a positive outcome.
 
Asgard

The asgard offer an olive branch on first encounter, ensuring our transition into interstellar adventures is protected by their strong technology. Often a peacekeeping voice of reason, they are thought to be the kind of race that humans may evolve into.
 
Sebacean

Sebaceans are very like humans, being from a different universe they are like a slightly altered version of our race. The superior race of their universe they have assumed a role of peacekeeping, unfortunately due to the corrupt power base they have taken a rather dictatorial approach to this peace keeping.
 
Scarran

The Scarran species are evil, powerful and arrogant. Lizard like in appearance they possess strong natural powers, lacking in intelligence they are perhaps another race we are not ready to encounter.
 
Borg

The Borg are a cross between the terminator style future digital race and hugely intelligent AI. This would perhaps be the most likely type of encounter, with a race that is spawned from our own fumbling in scientific research. 
 
Daleks

The Daleks have been a long time foe of the Human race, brought to us by another species the Timelord. The side effect of first contact, they may not be alone and any grudges they bear could cause untold harm on our own species. 
 
Reavers

Not technically another species, but an example of what happens with regression evolution. Humans revert to animal like behaviour, as we know Humans are dangerous, more so when you remove emotions like guilt and they begin to act purely on compulsion.


Cylons

Man makes robots, robots make man. This cycles of development is easy to understand in terms of evolution, if AI is advanced enough with such human reasoning to create life, it stands to reason this type of species will one day exist. If your in charge of global security, ask yourself why that Hot girl is sleeping with you and call her a taxi before you go to sleep!
 
Sith

In a galaxy far far away this band of evil dark lords are powerful and dark. Great at hand to hand combat, but rely on a corrupt leadership to bankroll their exploits. 
 
Vogon

A highly inefficient race, that is obsessed with procedure and paperwork. The ultimate organisors of the universe, but don't ever invite them to open mic night!